Dogisms 

  Here are some of our favorite dog stories, dog jokes, dog cartoons, dog videos, dog quotes, etc...hope you like them as much as we do!        

        Watch this touching video poem James Jacobson made for his dog Maui:                         

"Do You Remember Love"

            

            More Dogisms

 

                                              

                                     "Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened."

 

                                                                        

Doglicious says "I came along to make sure we start this page on the right paw...

 

                                                              

                                                           Dogs Live Here

If you don't want to be greeted with paws and swinging tails
don't come inside because dogs live here.
If you don't like the feel of a cold nose or a wet tongue,
don't come inside because dogs live here.
If you don't want to step over many scattered toys,
don't come inside because dogs live here.
If you think that a home ought to smell of perfume,
don't come inside because dogs live here.
If you don't mind all of this,
you will be instantly loved when you come inside,
because dogs live here.

Author Unknown 
                                    

     "Life Lessons Learned From A Dog"

1. If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.

2. Don't go out without ID.

3. Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by peeing on their shoes.

4. Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.

5. Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.

6. Always give people a friendly greeting. A cold nose in the face is very effective.

            7. When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed).

8. If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.


 

How to Set "Strict" Training Limits for Your Dog


1. The dog is not allowed in the house.

2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.

3. All right ...the dog is allowed in all rooms, but he has to stay off the furniture.

4. The dog can only get on the OLD furniture.

5. Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but he is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.

6. Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.

7. The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.

8. The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only.

9. FINE! The dog can sleep under the covers every night.

10. The humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.

 

                                          Adam and Eve's Pets:

Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal.

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'

And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'

                               

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks
and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'

And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

                                       


And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased

And Dog was happy...

            

And Cat didn't give a **** one way or the other...

 

                " Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole".

                                                Roger Caras      

                            


                      Dog Logic

"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue"

 Anonymous


 

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face"
 Ben Williams


"A dog is the only thing
on earth that loves you more than he loves himself"
Josh Billings




"The average
dog is a nicer person than the average person"

Andy Rooney




"Anybody who
doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog"

Franklin Jones

 


 

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise"
Unknown




"If you pick
up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is
the principal difference between a dog and a man"

Mark Twain

 


"If you think dogs can't count,
try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them"

Phil Pastoret

  

A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.”

Unknown


Dogs wagging tails

     


      


  Dogs have not the power of comparing. A dog will take a small piece of meat
as readily as a large, when both are before him.” ~ Samuel Johnson



A Faithful Dog Will Play With You
And Laugh With You -Or Cry-
He’ll Gladly Starve To Stay With You
Nor Ever Reason Why,
And When You’re Feeling Out Of Sorts
Somehow He’ll Understand
He’ll Watch You With His Shining Eyes
And Try To Lick Your Hand.
His Blind, Implicit Faith In You
Is Matched By His Great Love-
The Kind That All Of Us Should Have
In The Master, Up Above.
When Everything Is Said And Done
I Guess This Isn’t Odd
For When You Spell “Dog” Backwards
You Get The Name Of God. Author: Unknown


A Dog's Life

A woman told a marriage counselor that her husband's complaint that he leads a dog's life is probably well founded.
"He comes in the house with muddy feet," she said, "tracks across my clean floors, barks at nothing, growls at his food and makes himself comfortable on my best furniture."

 

Finding Inner Peace

 


If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

 Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

I bet you thought I was going to get all spiritual with this, huh?!


 

                                 WHAT OUR PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.....

                                                   

                                                           Excerpts from a Dog's Diary.......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
 5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
       

Excerpts from a Cat 's Daily Diary...

   
        
Day 983 of my captivity....

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. 


Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet..  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.'  I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.          He is obviously retarded.


Who Said "It's A Dog's Life"?


 

A Dog's Best Friend Prayer

O Lord, don't let me once forget,
How I love my trusty pet -
Help me learn to disregard
canine craters in my yard.

Show me how to be a buddy
even when my sofa's muddy.

Don't allow my pooch to munch
postal carriers for lunch.
Shield my neighbor's cat from view,
guide my steps around the doo.

Train me not to curse and scowl
when it's puppy's night to howl.

Grant I shan't awake in fear
with a cold nose in my ear.
Give me patience without end -
Help me be "A DOG'S BEST FRIEND."

-Author Unknown

                             Dog Breeds List

   A complete log of Dog Breeds with pictures and descriptions, in alphabetical order.

 

 

Click the link below! It's really cute!!!

  idodogtricks.com    


Also, be sure to watch the videos below...they're a great example of what our dogs can do, if we teach them and let them be themselves!

"In Dogs We Trust!"

http://www.bing.com/visualsearch?q=Dog+breeds&g=dog_breeds&FORM=pgbar1
 
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